A Bad Idea, People
Posted by admin | Filed under Insane in the MOMbrane, Motherhood, Preschoolers, parenting, product reviews
So now, I’m all for purchasing educational toys for my kids. As a matter of fact, I manage to convince myself that dropping $20 on a shnazzy toy is worth it if somehow they learn something from it. Especially if it shuts them up long enough for Mama to try on a bra at Target. (Yes, I buy my bras from Tar-JAY. Do you have a problem with that? Let’s take this outside.)
That giggling Elmo? It teaches them… language. Yeah. That’s right. They’re learning how to talk (like a high-pitched little bitch). That princess phone? Numbers (and anti-feminist sentiments). Tea set? Socialization (even when little sisters are banned from the party and the only guests are inanimate objects).
And THEN there’s this:
It’s a “lock puzzle.” Now who the fuck thought of this? Yeah, that’s exactly what I want to teach my kids – how to UNLOCK things. Because I didn’t spend the first three years of their lives trying to keep them out of cabinets, closets, and rooms. Why didn’t they just include tot locks and crib latches while they were at it? And Mommy’s Secret Drawer lock, and Daddy’s Gun Cabinet lock, and the Basement Where We Keep the Dead Bodies lock?
I’m totally kidding – I don’t have a secret drawer. Unless by “secret drawer” you mean where I keep all my pirate books or granny panties.
What?
And yes, that’s my foot in the picture. I suck at taking pictures. But I’ll do your wedding for a small fee. Just be prepared to have various body parts of mine in all the shots.
Oh God, is it Friday yet?
Tags: granny panties, lock puzzle, locks, secret drawer, toys
The Circus
Posted by admin | Filed under FYI, product reviews
And by "circus" I don't mean my life. I mean the actual circus.
Aside from the clowns, what is there to NOT love about the circus? Well, if you live in Houston and want to take the fam, Ringling Brothers & Barnum Bailey’s Over the Top is in H-Town! Enter the coupon code "MOM" to get 4 tickets for $44. It is going to rock, and you can bet your pretty ass I'll be there with clown makeup on. Ok, ok, no clown makeup. Calm down.
Er…Is it just me or is that clown kind of hot? Photo by riley lassner via Flickr.
Tags: circus, clowns, Ringling Brothers & Barnum Bailey's
Awesome Eco-Friendly Baby Products
Posted by admin | Filed under FYI, In the News, product reviews
Now, I promised myself a while back that I would not review products on my site that I did not genuinely like. So I promise you can take my word for it when I say something is worth the money.
In the light of that whole Johnson & Johnson carcinogen thing, it's nice to know companies like Ecostore USA are offering some baby care products that won't 1) harm our planet or 2) our babies. I tried out the shampoo and body wash on my girls AND myself, and I can tell you that it's very gentle on the skin and smells great. It's reminiscent of California Baby, but better. The prices are totally reasonable and the products were shipped to me in a box filled with soy, not styrofoam, peanuts. I thought that was pretty cool.
I am giving away a Baby Body Wash Aromatherapy and Baby Shampoo Aromatherapy. Comment below if you'd like to enter. Say something witty if you'd like to win. 
Beeeeeooootches!
Tags: baby products, body wash, carcinogens, Ecostore USA, Johnson&Johson, product review, shampoo
