Online Chat Help
Posted by admin | Filed under Insane in the MOMbrane, Just plain funny, No One But Your Mom, Web Design
So I'm designing a site for a client (weird, using that word…. client… I have clients… Like people who are paying me to do the bullshit I do…. Random, yo…) and the web host they are using has been a royal pain in my ass. I've had a hell of a time trying to get the site up and running, mainly because there is virtually NO customer service with this host. I FINALLY managed to get someone to chat with me online from the support department, and needless to say I was 1) peeved, and 2) certain I was going to end up chatting with a dude in India who said "thank you" and "please" too many times but really meant "go fuck yourself, you stupid American."
When I discovered the dude's name was "Stephan", I became even more certain I was right. They always give themselves "wholesome" American names like Clint or Wayne or something. So I've pasted the chat below for your entertainment, cutting out all the technical jargon so that you don't fall into a coma and never read my blog again…
Stephan: good Morning
Rima: hi
Stephan: what are the error messages you're getting
Rima: "server is redirecting the request for this address in a way that will never complete."
Stephan: My computer is a little slow right now
Stephan: sorry about that
Rima: no problem
Rima: when you get a chance, try and install it yourself…
Stephan is now off-line and may not reply. Currently in room: Rima.
Stephan is now on-line. Currently in room: Stephan, Rima.
Stephan: I'm back sorry about that
Rima: no problem
Stephan: today doesnt seem to be my day with computers
Rima: lol
Rima: that's like every day for me
Stephan: now I am going to login into the ftp and see if it has the same files as mine
Stephan: I get an error message as well
Stephan: I am going to send this out to our engineers asap so they can look into it
Rima: awesome, thank you
Stephan: and hopefully correct it before the afternoon is over
Stephan: the quicker the better I always say
Rima: when will I know if it's been corrected? will you send me an email?
Stephan: I'll send you an email once things have been corrected or figured out
Rima: thank you… and just a curious question: are you indian? because you write like an american
Stephan: I live in america and i'm not indian. I try my best to write properly lol
Rima: I knew it. okay, thanks.
Funny how I got the feeling he was American right at the beginning, when he didn't "thank you" and "please" me into oblivion. Now I can't help but imagine a nerdy little white dude with a big Adam's apple and wonky teeth.
Have a good weekend, bitches. And keep your eyes peeled for the next installment of Captain England. I'm working on illustrations of my characters to give the story some "flavor."
Tags: customer service, Fiction Chick, Indian dudes, online chat
We Love WP!
Posted by admin | Filed under FYI, In the News, Insane in the MOMbrane, Web Design
I am over the moon – my blog design was featured on We Love WP, a gallery of outstanding Wordpress sites. Yeah, baby! If you didn’t want me to design your blog before, you sure as hell want me to now, right? RIGHT? Go on over there and rate my site! Have I told you guys how much I love you all? Hmmm? I LURVE you! SLURPY KISS!
Tags: blog, blog design, Web Design, wordpress, Wordpress gallery
MY New Design
Posted by admin | Filed under FYI, Web Design
So I'm into the whole "girlie goth" thing with my designs. I blame Twilight. But anyway, I couldn't wait to put this one up. It's so feckin cool. What do you guys think? Be gentle with me, my web design ego is fragile….*SOB*
Oh, and check out the latest installment of Fiction Chick. Seriously. You'll hate it so much you may actually start to love it. You'll go full circle.
Tags: design, Fiction Chick, girlie goth, Twilight, vampires, Web Design
That’s Not My Name
Posted by admin | Filed under FYI, Insane in the MOMbrane, No One But Your Mom, Uncategorized, Web Design
So the design I made for Aunt Becky over at Mommy Wants Vodka is up. I'm so excited I could pee myself. It's like designing a red carpet gown for Catherine Zeta Jones or something. People will keep asking her who designed it, and she'll say, oozing with Claudette Colbert panache: "Admin did."
It could catch on, right? I am now popular by association. It was just , like, two days ago that I was crying to my readers, snot dripping down my face, "WHY doesn't anyone LIKE ME?" And you guys, so kind and so full of pity, came back and were like, "We like you, Admin, really we do. It's just that you stick Xanax up your ass to see if it'll get into your bloodstream faster that way, and we're slightly concerned. And weirded out. That's all."
And now, one of my posts has a whopping 15 comments! Holy shit! Hollywood, here I come! Ok, I'm getting slightly carried away. But seriously, guys. I'm so stoked that you're reading my incoherent, half-drunk babble that I don't know what to do with myself.
Another great side effect of being linked with the almighty Becky is that people have been asking me about my web design. I figured it would help if I straight up gave dollar figures for my designs, so that people weren't like, "So, if it takes you, say, three years to finish my design, I'll owe you, what, MY SOUL?" So here goes:
- If your platform is Blogger.com (www.mycrazyshit.blogspot.com), it's $50.
- If your platform is Wordpress, it's $75. Keep in mind that if you have an account with Wordpress.com, they require that you "upgrade" in order to customize.
- If you want a nice little business or personal website, it's $75.
- If you want hand-drawn illustrations (like the ones I did for Becky), add $30 to the price above.
- If you want changes / upkeep, $20 for each.
I think that about covers it. Can I just say that I love each and every one of you? Like, a lot? I could totally make out with you all. Not at the same time, of course. That would get complicated. Ok, off to Fiction Chick to publish my next installment of shitty fiction! *Puts on cape and flies out the window. And crashes into tree.*
Tags: Aunt Becky, blog, blogger, design, illustration, Mommy Wants Vodka, price, Web Design, wordpress
You Know You Want It
Posted by admin | Filed under FYI, Uncategorized, Web Design, vintage ads
No, I'm not talking about my hot ass. I'm talking about an awesome, rockin' blog design. Yeah, baby!
Blogger or Wordpress, I do both. Oh, and non-blog sites too. You can find my work here, here, or here. And there are a lot more "here's" at that last site.
And while I'm on the subject (of wanting my hot ass), where'd my peeps go? Girlies who used to comment – have I somehow turned you off? It was the Xanax suppository comment, wasn't it? Why you gotta be like that, baby?
The people at "Lustre Creme" would like you to know that if you don't like pink, you're apparently not a girl. Bitch. Photo by jbcurio via Flickr.
Tags: blog, blog design, comments, pink, vintage ads, Web Design, xanax
Argh, Matey
Posted by admin | Filed under FYI, Insane in the MOMbrane, No One But Your Mom, Uncategorized, Web Design, Womanhood
So… For those of you interested in my self-professed shitty fiction, I have a blog for you to visit. I've created Fiction Chick for your shitty fiction cravings. If you are interested in writing fiction for me to post on my blog, let me know. Check out the About page for details.
Let me know what you think. Especially if you want more, more, more! If you think it sucks and wish I would just go away, then, well, don't let me know what you think. Because I'll probably tell you to eat shit. Just kidding – I'm all about the constructive criticism. (You critical whores.) Also, the site is my design – and mostly my own coding! DAMN I rock my own world. Let me know what you think of that as well.
If you don't remember what the fuck I'm talking about, check out the Intro first.
So my pirates don’t wear eye makeup and beads in the hair, but that doesn’t mean you won’t like ‘em… Photo by cindy47452 via Flickr.
Tags: creative writing, fiction, Fiction Chick, Johnny Depp, pirates, reading, shitty fiction, writing
So Much For Anyn…Aniny…Anoni…Being Mysterious
Posted by admin | Filed under FYI, Uncategorized, Web Design, Womanhood
It was fucking exhausting, anyway.
My name is Rima, and I'm a blog-a-holic.
Check out the (very short) article I wrote on Today's Mama. Nifty, eh? I'm the very last writer, btw.
I've decided I'm still going to (try) to protect the innocent with fake names and such and not showing my kids' faces, but my identity (Batwoman) need not be secret, as far as I'm concerned. And it'll be SO NICE to link my facebook account to my blog to my portfolio to my Twitter account FINALLY.
- Follow me on Twitter: MommyHasAPlan
- Get me to design your blog or website: Design Mommy
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Oh shit, my boy Jon the Stewart is on. Gotta dash, ladies. Smooches!
Tags: Facebook, identity, Jon Stewart, Rima, Twitter, Web Design
Free Blog Design #2
Posted by admin | Filed under FYI, Web Design
Go check it out here. It’s got a completely different feel than my first design.
I’m moving on to Shawna now! And if anyone knows someone who wants a blog / website design, send ‘em my way – while I’m not offering any more freebies, my rates are ridiculous, they’re so low. For serious.
Tags: blog design, blogger, blogs, Web Design, web design freebie
Web Design Freebie
Posted by admin | Filed under FYI, Web Design
I just finished designing a blogger site for one of my readers – go check it out at Neuron Mommy. For those of you who requested a free design, allow me a few weeks to get on it. If you haven’t heard from me in a couple weeks, use the contact form to get in touch with me. Chances are, I haven’t forgotten about you – I’ve been slammed doing miscellaneous things like, oh, being a mom. 
The offer for a free design is officially closed. If you like my designs and really want me to customize one for you, contact me and we’ll come up with something reasonable.
Tags: blogger, free customized web design, web design freebie, wordpress
I’m Begging To Give You Free Stuff (Again)
Posted by admin | Filed under FYI, Web Design
If any of you have a personal blog, I AM DYING to design (redesign) one for you. Or make some graphics for you. I am trying to build up my web design “portfolio” (HA! Whatever, you have to start somewhere, right?) and need the practice. If you don’t have a blog, you need to get one pronto. I mean, you want to share those baby pics with people in a non-generic, Facebook kind of way, right? Right? Because everyone and their mother is doing Facebook, and talk about boooooooring… Ok, I use Facebook too, but only a personal blog gives you your very own corner of the Internets to fuck up in your own personal kind of way.
So once again, I am begging to do web design for you, and I’m begging to do it FOR FREE. Afraid I’ll design a hideous looking blog for you? Fair enough. You can see my work HERE (I designed this shit, graphics and all) and here. That’s all I got for you so far, but I can do whatever your girly little heart desires.
Will. Work. For. Nothing. It doesn’t get any more pathetic than that, folks. (NOTE: Someday I’ll be GOOD and you’ll wish you’d taken me up on it when I wasn’t charging $100 per hour. Now STOP THAT LAUGHING.)
Tags: blog design, Facebook, free cusmtomized web design, free graphics, free shit, Web Design
