Hands-On Mom
Posted by admin | Filed under Motherhood, Preschoolers, Uncategorized, parenting
Oh no, you're thinking. Is this another post in which Mimi / Admin / Whoever the Fuck I Am rips certain types of moms a new one? BINGO!
Just kidding. I think being a mom is hard, and no matter what you do, someone is going to rip you a new one. Really. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: So long as a child is loved, the rest is just details. They may not grow up to be completely balanced adults, but truth be told, I have yet to meet a completely balanced adult. Do they exist? I think it's an urban myth, this well-balanced adult bullshit. The more "well-balanced" an individual tries to look, the more fucked up they actually are, if you ask me.
Back to ripping moms a new one. Right. So I don't mean to talk shit about certain parenting styles, because in the end, we're all trying to do the best job we can and keep our kids out of therapy. I think we can all agree on that. BUT. There is this certain type of parent that is driving me batty, and I just want to grab her (or him), tie them down, and yell, "STOP! JUST STOP, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!"
The "hands-on" parent, or, the parent that won't let their kid do ANYTHING on their own.
You've seen them at Gymboree, at the park, on the playground, in the classroom: They hover over their kids, directing every move. "Don't touch that, don't do it that way, do it THIS way, you're doing it wrong, this is how you do it, be careful, watch what you're doing, no, nononononono! YES!"
When Nora was around two-ish, I took her to an art class. And there was this mom I was dying to taser. The kids were supposed to be making hand puppets out of paper bags, but considering they were TWO YEARS OLD and couldn't follow instructions to save their short lives, they were smearing glue everywhere, coloring out of lines, making a mess of the yarn and paint… This mom was apoplectic. She could not deal with the fact that her two-year-old didn't understand that she was making a puppet, and dear God, the yarn goes on the head, and no, don't put the glue THERE!
I have a bit more sympathy when it comes to safety, because I tend to go overboard with the "be careful's". But as TH points out, sometimes I need a fucking chill pill. He'll tell me, "It's OKAY if Ava falls trying to climb that little step, because she'll just fall a short distance and she won't hurt herself – badly." Of course, TH takes the concept to a whole new level, as he doesn't seem all that concerned if Ava crashes down two flights of stairs and gets a bloody nose.
But back to my point. I see these parents everywhere, doing these bizarre, over-bearing things that make me cringe. There's this mom whose twins are in Nora's class, and I swear to God: I get there in the morning, she's there instructing the teacher on what her kids can and can't do, eat, etc. I get there in the afternoon to pick her up, and she's there asking the teacher about her children's every move. I'm beginning to think she never really leaves, she just hovers at the window, watching.
There's this other mom, who drops her kids off at the gym childcare center often at the same time as me. She comes in with this long list of things her boys (who are both over the age of five) can and can't do. "Keep them away from this, make sure they don't do that, if they get thirsty please let them drink ONLY from the cups I brought, NOT from the water fountain…"
For real, lady? Is all of that necessary? I mean, you are going to work out for HOW LONG? And you're afraid that they'll climb the jungle gym and MAYBE enjoy themselves, or drink Houston tap water (a legit concern, I must admit), or… WHAT?
To these two women, I'd like to say: If you're really THAT worried about your kids, then don't send them to school or childcare at all. Just sit your over-protective asses at home and keep your eyes glued to your kids, to make sure they don't do anything you don't like. And then, when they turn thirteen and can't take your ass anymore, they'll rebel with a fury and leave you stunned, confused, and feeling betrayed by the children you so "lovingly" raised.
What do you gals think? Am I being a crazy bitch? Don't answer that – it's totally off topic…
She looks FUCKING TERRIFIED. I don’t blame her.
Tags: art class, Gymboree, hands-on parenting, moms, over-protective
One Response to “Hands-On Mom”
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Brianna Says:
December 29th, 2009 at 7:09 amThese moms need valium, a good lay, and maybe a day at the spa. Seriously. My nieces (I love them so very much, but OMG) do the same thing to their new kitten. Sweet baby jeebus, let the damn thing stand on its own four paws once in a while! It’s playing with STRING, for god’s sake, not a priceless antique… leave. it. alone! These kinds of parents need to be told the same thing. It’s a ball, woman, not a grenade. Let the poor child have some damn fun. A bruise on your little one’s shin is NOT cause for an ER visit. Nor is it an acceptable reason to surround the child in bubble wrap. I totally think we should start a Taser Brigade. Seriously.
