I Am NOT A Princess
Posted by admin | Filed under Motherhood, Preschoolers, Uncategorized, parenting
And I don't mean that I personally am not a princess, because HELLO, it's what's on the inside that counts *snort.*
I mean that Nora always wants to be a "princess," whatever the fuck that means, and throws a fit if, for some reason, she deems herself not worthy of the title.
For the record, I blame Disney. Seriously, folks, stop pushing the princess bullshit on little girls. Cinderella, Snow White, Ariel, Jasmine, Sleeping Beauty… And it's not like your daughter will ever go unscathed, regardless of how much you try and protect them from this crap. Even the modern, educational Nick Jr. has the princess undercurrent to its shows. Princesses are beautiful, wear fluffy gowns, are adored by everyone. And let's not forget: She gets Prince Charming. You know what I'd like to do to Prince Charming? Kick him in the balls. Oh wait, I can't do that, because HE DOESN'T EXIST. Not in the sense Disney would have you believe, anyways. (Yes, TH, you are my Prince Charming, calm the fuck down. You know what I'm trying to say here.)
I've always wanted to see what happened after the "happy ending." You know, once the honeymoon is over. Cinderella nags the shit out of PC, PC then has an affair with one the more slutty step-sisters. Cindy finds out, smashes the windshield of his carriage with a… er… golf club…
Back to what I was saying. Nora is convinced that if she isn't wearing a dress (preferably a pink one), then she is not a princess. Tantrum ensues. If her dress has long sleeves (because it's fucking freezing outside), she pushes them up over her elbows, because if they are not pushed up, she is not a princess. Tantrum ensues. If her hair is in a ponytail, she is not a princess. If I don't let her spritz my perfume on (continually until she's suffocating me), she's not a princess.
Tantrum. Fucking. Ensues.
So over Thanksgiving my mom (aka Nana) got Nora a cute little festive outfit of red turtleneck and striped pants. She was fine wearing the turtleneck (so long as the sleeves were pushed up) but refused to wear the pants. When I insisted she put them on, because the entire family was there and a three-year-old running around in panties is, in my opinion, inappropriate, she began bawling, "But I'm NOT A PRINCESS!"
To which I shouted, "You can be a princess EVEN IF YOU KEEP YOUR PANTS ON!"
Which reminded me of the time she wouldn't even keep her panties on, because they were blue, not pink, and I had to tell her, "Good girls keep their panties on."
*Snicker.*
Please. JUST STOP. Photo by Armadillo444 via Flickr.
Tags: Cinderella, Disney, dresses, panties, princesses
7 Responses to “I Am NOT A Princess”
-
Amber Says:
December 7th, 2009 at 9:25 amJust to help you out (snicker snicker) how about thi?
http://www.amazon.com/Disney-Princess-Bathing-Beauty-Shampoo/dp/B001LQ2F0K -
Amber Says:
December 7th, 2009 at 9:26 amergh! I hate when i try to be funny and mess up…I meant “this” not “thi”
-
Sam Says:
December 7th, 2009 at 11:53 amBecause of HIGHlarious life-timing, my daughter just came zipping into the room and said “WHAT are you looking at??? Princesses!” Sigh. I understand completely. You cannot escape it no matter what. That doesn’t mean I don’t quietly read to her from The Bell Jar at night though. (I really don’t….)…
-
Shannon Says:
December 7th, 2009 at 3:45 pmI saw a shirt that had a little tiara on it and read “Self-Rescuing Princess” the other day. Made me think of you.
-
admin Says:
December 8th, 2009 at 5:56 pmAwww. Better than “princess in desperate need of saving by a prince” right?
-
admin Says:
December 8th, 2009 at 5:57 pmSam – how old is your daughter? That’s awesome. Princesses can go fuck themselves. Just kidding. But not really.
-
Belle Says:
December 9th, 2009 at 8:51 pmI’ve become so repulsed by the obsession all the girls I babysit have for all things princess and pink and puke… so when I substitute at preschool, I totally favor the tomboys.
